Here’s my impressive-sounding bio. Please use this one for professional stuff:

Brant Hansen is an author, nationally syndicated radio host, and advocate for healing children through  CURE International.

He’s won national “personality of the year” awards for his work on his offbeat and quirky radio show, which airs on more than 200 stations. His podcast with his friend and radio producer, Sherri Lynn (“The Brant and Sherri Oddcast”) has been downloaded more than 10 million times.

He leverages his radio platform to advance the healing work of CURE, which provides life-changing surgeries for children with treatable conditions.

His first book, Unoffendable, has prompted a national discussion on the idea of forgiveness, and our culture’s embrace of self-righteous anger.

His second book, both provocative and very personal, is Blessed are the Misfits: Great News for Those Who Are Introverts, Spiritual Strugglers, or Just Feel Like They’re Missing Something. In this book, Hansen addresses his own, and many others’,  inability to “feel God’s presence”, and how God might Himself feel about that.

His latest,  The Truth About Us: The Very Good News About How Very Bad We Are, hit bestseller lists in spring/summer of 2020.

Brant speaks to groups/conferences/churches when his schedule allows.

He has written for CNN.com, The Washington Post, U.S. News and World Report, The South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Relevant, and numerous other outlets on matters as varied as public policy, culture, sports, Asperger’s Syndrome, and faith. He’s been a game inventor, fronted a modern rock band, and still dabbles in singing and songwriting.

He’s traveled extensively throughout the world for CURE and other groups, including multiple trips to CURE’s hospital for women and children in Afghanistan.

He has been married for 30 years to Carolyn, and they have two grown children.

My real bio:

Brant Hansen has no idea what he’s doing.

He keeps showing up, and people keep asking him to do stuff, and he keeps saying yes.

Except when he has to say no, and then he feels kinda guilty about it.

He has ideas, and sometimes they leak out on paper or over the airwaves, and people read them, or hear them, and then look at him funny.

He likes toast so much that he can’t really allow himself to eat it anymore. He used to eat a loaf of burnt, dry toast every morning to start the day. He has had to back off. He realizes he has a problem.

He doesn’t want to brag about it or anything, but he was PRESIDENT of the Illinois Student Librarians Association. He was also All-Conference in “Scholastic Bowl”, and lettered in basketball and football (both for keeping statistics) and was President of his own Stamp Collector Club, which consisted of himself.

Brant always looks inappropriately intense. He can’t help it.

He also has nystagmus, which causes his eyes to shake and his head to move involuntarily. He’s always been ashamed of this, but it is what it is. Brant’s wife thinks he’s handsome anyway, so when he’s around her, he doesn’t have to think about it.

Brant is really, really skeptical. More skeptical than skeptics, as it turns out, especially the one-way sort who are only skeptical of religious claims, but not themselves.

He thinks Jesus is the only person who really makes sense. Jesus said “No one is good but God” and this affirms Brant’s observations of himself, others, and all of human history.

Brant is diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. It causes him to say things you’re not supposed to say, apparently. But he asks God to please, please help him not to hurt people, but to be a blessing to them.

Brant is thankful for anyone who wants to be friends, but he gravitates to outcasts and weirdos, because they’re usually nice to him.